A teacher asked her students to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Martha said, “My family went to the Louisville Zoo, and it was fascinating to see all the animals.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate.’”
Sarita raised her hand. She said, “My family went to the Cincinnati Zoo and I was fascinated by the animals.”
“That’s good, too,” said the teacher, “but I really wanted you to use the word fascinate.”
Little Billy raised his hand.
The teacher hesitated because Billy was noted for his bad language, but surely he couldn’t damage a world like “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Billy said proudly, “My aunt has a sweater with 10 buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight.”
My three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training; and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course, I checked my seven month old daughter, and she was clean. The I realized that Matt had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him and he said, “No.”
I kept thinking, “Oh Lord, that child has had an accident and I didn’t have any clothes with me.” Then I said, “Matt, are you sure you did not have an accident?
“No,” he replied.
I just knew that he must have, because the smell was getting worse. Sooooo….I asked one more time, “Matt, did you have an accident?”
Matt jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled…. “SEE, MOM, IT’S JUST FARTS!!!” While 100 people nearly choked to death on their tacos, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down to eat his food as if nothing happened. I was mortified!
Some kind elderly people made me feel a lot better, when they came over and thanked me for the best laugh they had ever had!!!
Another old gentleman stopped us in the parking lot as we were leaving, bent over to my son and said, “Don’t worry son, my wife accuses me of the same thing all the time…I just never had the nerve to make the point like you did.
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