A Computer Science student at MIT showed up at his buddies dorm room with a new bike. His buddy said “sweet bike, where’d ya get it?” “You’ll never believe this,” he said, “I was walking across campus and this beautiful blonde on a bike stopped, threw down her bike, tore off all her clothes and said take whatever you want!”
His buddy stared at him blankly for a minute, then said “smart. Her clothes would have never fit you.”
A naked cowboy wars into a bar.
Bartender says ” I say,…I say boy why don’t you have any clothes on ?” Cowboy says ” I found the most beautiful girl in the barn laying in the hay with her legs spread.” Bartender “wow but what’s that got to do with you being in front of me with your dingle dangling?” Cowboy said ” she told me to take off all my clothes and go to town”.