Getting a sneak peek at your spouse’s texts can be really tempting, especially if you know that they will never find out about this small act of mischief from your side. In fact, studies show that 34% of women and 62% of men snoop on their partner’s phone from time to time. And the reason for this snooping is not only jealousy. It turns out, there could be some deeper psychological motives that could push your better half into checking these messages and other personal data on your phone.
Here are 8 reasons why your partner might be trying to snoop on you and what it means for your relationship.
1. Trust issues
Experiences shape a person, and your partner obviously has had problems with ᴄʜᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ and lying in the past relationships. Though you might not be doing anything wrong or misbehaving, your partner can simply not change the behavioral pattern past relationships have seeded into him. He is slightly-paranoid and you need to discuss this in four eyes. Let your partner know your intentions.
2. Not satisfied with your relationship
In a healthy relationship, both partners trust each other unconditionally and respect each other’s rights to privacy, personal space, and having a life that extends past the time they spend together. But if one of them feels a strong urge to snoop, this might be the reason to seriously question the relationship.
Perhaps your partner just isn’t sure that you’re heading in the right direction. Or perhaps they haven’t decided yet if they want to be with you or not. Either way, snooping might point out that you and your partner have completely different values, and you should talk about them as soon as possible.
3. Low self-esteem
Even though your relationship is perfect, you’re both doing everything right, your partner’s struggles with low self-esteem might be the reason he’s self-sabotaging the nice thing you have. Your partner is not even aware of the fact they’re struggling with low self esteem and think they’re just not enough or good enough for you. They might even believe that you deserve someone better than them.
4. Problems with healthy boundaries
In every relationship, there should be boundaries, and violating them is never OK — your partner has to understand this. So if you make it clear that you respect your personal space and won’t allow anybody to invade it, your partner should accept your need for privacy, even if it’s greater than theirs.
The inability to maintain those boundaries by constantly checking your phone might be the very first sign that you’ll feel uncomfortable with this person in future. As a rule, if someone doesn’t pay attention to the simple things that are actually important for you, they will be more likely to violate the emotional, physical, or any other boundaries that you set
5. Afraid of open talks
Your partner might really love you and be afraid to lose you if he has open talk about a certain topic he sees you’re not agreeing on. That’s another reason why he’s scooping on your phone – to gather more relevant information about the subject.
6. In need of attention
Sit down and try to remember how often you talked to your partner during the last month. Did you communicate like you usually do or was there a significant decline in the amount of time you spent together? If you 2 haven’t had a good old talk for a really long time, you’ve just found the reason for your partner’s strange behavior.
In some cases, a communication breakdown makes a person do things they aren’t proud of, like checking your phone, for example. Your partner just feels curious about what is going on in your life and wants to spend more time with you, but, for some reason, you can’t open yourself up to that.
7. Your partner might be thinking of ᴄʜᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ on you
You know what they say, “I am not what you think I am, you are what you think I am”. Well, that’s exactly the point in this case. If your partner is looking for some secret conversations or doubtful people in your phone, it might be because he’s the one doing or thinking to do exactly the same thing. His unusual behavior is a mirror manifestation of themselves.
8. Not ready for a serious relationship
If your partner prefers checking your phone behind your back over actually talking to you, this might be a sign that they’re just not mature enough to be in a relationship. They can explain their behavior this way — they just want to know who called you and that’s all, no jealousy. But, instead of playing hide-and-seek on the phone, they could just go straight to the source and ask you directly about it.
If a person can’t ask you such a simple question, imagine how they’ll feel when you need to talk about more serious topics, like moving in together or planning a family. So, they’re probably just not ready to build a serious relationship at this particular time.
Have you ever checked your partner’s phone? Were they okay with that?
Sources: femalle.net, ng.opera.news