Finding out your partner has ᴄʜᴇᴀᴛᴇᴅ on you is never good news, but it can be especially painful if you felt you were in a happy relationship and had no reason to doubt they would be faithful.
But you shouldn’t torture yourself with the idea that they were secretly unhappy, as this may not be the case.
“Even people in generally good quality relationships can be tempted to ᴄʜᴇᴀᴛ,” explains Relate counsellor Martin Burrow.
And with statistics revealing 20% of adults in the UK have had an ᴀғғᴀɪʀ and over 30% have considered ᴄʜᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ, it is clear that thinking of ɪɴғɪᴅᴇʟɪᴛʏ as only a problem for miserable couples would be wrong.
Sarah Ryan, director of matchmaking agency Simantov International, who has done extensive research in this area, agrees: “If someone has the inclination to go astray, no matter how happy a home they live in, they will do so.”
Although this might all sound concerning, rest assured ᴄʜᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ never just comes “out of the blue” (even if it seems that way) and there is always a reason why people play away from home.
Here we bring you 6 exclusive reasons why people in happy relationships still ᴄʜᴇᴀᴛ.
1. THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY WANT
The ᴄʜᴇᴀᴛ does not have clarity about what he/she wants. Some days they wake up next to you feeling happy and thankful, but other days, they spend their entire time daydreaming about how awesome things would be if they were single. People who have the proclivity to betray their partner will often feel trapped in their relationship even if it’s a happy one. They will go off wanting to try something new and different a.k.a ᴄʜᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ.
2. BECAUSE IT’S FUN
If you don’t have the means to go sky-diving, you may end up ᴄʜᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ on your partner. A happy relationship can sometimes become monotonous. Happy doesn’t equate to boring, but the line starts to get blurry when you stay with someone long enough without anything new happening.
3. BECAUSE SOMETIMES ITS BETTER THAN GREAT 𝕊𝔼𝕏
People have different tastes when it comes to 𝕊𝔼𝕏, but those interests are rarely realized in committed relationships. Extreme fetishes are less likely to surface when two people are completely happy with the way things are going in their relationship. Happy people will ᴄʜᴇᴀᴛ to try new things, but it doesn’t mean that they want to get rid of their current relationship.
4. THEY THINK sᴇxᴜᴀʟ INFIDELITY DOESN’T MEAN THEY DON’T LOVE YOU
For a ᴄʜᴇᴀᴛ SEXUALloyalty and love don’t go hand in hand. They have ventured to confidently separate and detach s3xual infidelity from love. They would think something along the line of “if I slept with so and so person, it doesn’t mean I don’t love you” “sure I’m having ⓢⓔⓧⓤⓐⓛ relations with another person but I’m coming back to you every single time, hence, I love you. Problem solved”. If confronted about it, they will tell you they’re “just” having ⓢⓔⓧ. But they’re heart really only belongs to you.
5. NEW ROMANCE
Yes, happy relationships are still brimming with romance. But if someone comes along and makes you feel hotter and more passionate than the way you do with your current partner, ᴄʜᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ suddenly becomes an option.
6. THE ᴄʜᴇᴀᴛ WANTS TO BE SURE THEY ARE WITH THE RIGHT PERSON
Your partner might be sure they are happy being in a relationship, rather than playing the field, but if they are romantically inexperienced, they may wonder whether they are with the right person.
“Romanticism would have us believe there’s one ideal partner out there who will meet all our needs to the point when we’d never as much as look at another person,” says Burrow.
“The reality is there’s no such thing as the perfect partner or the perfect relationship, the idea of perfection is nothing more than that – an idea.”