Why Couples Who Argue Love Each Other More
You may be surprised to hear this, but couples who argue actually love each other more than couples who never raise their voices at each other.
Why Couple Who Argue Love Each Other More
Arguing doesn’t determine that a relationship is suffering.
It’s simple. Couples who argue are couples who feel “safe” to express their emotions.
This is a great sign, as it shows that you and your partner have a strong bond, a bond that is so tight that a good fight or two is not enough to break you.
Relationships usually begin with hearts and butterflies.
Everything is fine and dandy. You agree with each other and you compromise. But, as the relationship moves past the “honeymoon stage,” you start to show opinions, differences, and your individual personalities. It is then that you experience a fluctuation in the harmony of the union. A relationship gets tested. If you can have healthy arguments, you can truly learn from one another.
There will always be challenges and conflicts in a relationship.
Once the initial stages pass on to stability and longevity, people tend to fall into their own territories again. They want to be heard and understood, follow their passions, and be acknowledged for who they are. Couples who argue are expressing their desires to be heard. When done constructively, it isn’t fighting. It is expressing their needs. And happy couples hear each other. In a moment of heavy discussion. they will stand their ground, and this is a sign of mutual respect. You can respect and show vulnerability.
There is a difference between angry fighting and truly expressing your thoughts in a relationship.
Arguing is a major form of communication.
It shows individualism, different perspectives and the ability to teach each other. Arguments aren’t necessarily an indicator that there are problems in a relationship. Psychiatrist explains that arguing well requires skills that take time to build.
Couples who argue also have a tendency to be passionate.
Some couples enjoy the make-up sex after an intense argument. They thrive on this roller coaster ride that increase their hormones and blood pressure. The wise couple acknowledges this and keeps an eye on how they treat each other over disagreements.
Mutual respect, love, compromise, compassion and trust are important factors of a healthy relationship.
Like everything in life, it’s about moderation. You never want to insult or disrespect a loved one. You can state your point in a manner that both parties can hear. When you are authentic in a relationship you can always share what you believe in. It’s all in how you present any discussion.
How to argue effectively
A good couple will learn how to argue in a way that moves them forward. This is a positive thing. Arguments allow you to teach each other differing viewpoints, perspectives, and who you are as individuals.
How boring would your relationship be if you two agreed on everything? You would have little to offer each other.
Some healthy techniques for when you enter into an argument with your partner
1. There is no “one right”, so don’t insist on your “right”
Instead, you might say “That’s an interesting perspective. I understand why you might feel that way. But I see it this way…”
2. Let the other person speak- Engage in active listening
This means you aren’t just thinking of what you are going to say next once your partner finishes their bit. You turn towards them, look at them, and really lean into what they are sharing with you.
Let the other person speak- Engage in active listening
3. Don’t interrupt
Don’t roll your eyes. Don’t ever storm out of the room, effectively cutting off the discussion.
4. Stick to the topic of the conflict
Stick to the topic of the conflict without bringing up old grudges
5. Call for a timeout
If you feel your anger escalating and know that you will say something you will regret, call for a timeout and suggest that you both leave the room to cool off, and agree to revisit the issue once your emotions have cooled off. Then begin again.
6. Argue from a place of kindness, respect, and love for your partner
Keep those three adjectives in your mind. You are not opponents in the boxing ring but two people fighting because they want to settle things, so you both come out of this fight feeling heard and respected.
It’s a great sign when couples argue because they’re really working on building a better relationship.
It means they are invested in making their partnership the best one possible. This is very meaningful. If couples don’t argue, it could mean they’ve “gave up” any chance for the relationship to get better and decided to just deal with the non-communication state. It’s not a good place to be and eventually, that relationship will fall apart. No one wants to live like hostile, silent roommates.