Mom Excludes Stepdaughter From A Family Photo Because She’s Black

Blending families typically comes with challenges no matter what the situation is. Many parents have their own parenting style, but they may be forced to change this when they decide to combine their family with their partner’s family. One mom recently took to Reddit to share about a challenge she is facing — and promptly found out that she is the problem in the situation. She wrote:

“I am 32F, my husband Jack is 36M. We have Lydia (5F), Carol (2F) and Solomon (8 monthsM) together. Jack has Enephrine (8F) from a different marriage.

It’s our last week of summer before the kids start school, so we decided to rent a lovely little beach cottage for the week. It’s a common theme in my family to take Christmas card photos while on vacations, so naturally I wanted to take the photos while we were away!

Here’s the problem. Jack is white, but Enephrine’s mom is black and she turned out looking very, very much like her. I don’t care what r.a.c.e she is and love her just the same as any of my bio kids. My parents, however, are pretty racist. I’m limited contact with them for several reasons so they’ve never met Enephrine, but we’re on Christmas card terms. I don’t want to send them a card that Enephrine is on because they will make a fuss about the (certain word with a hard r) child. So my plan was to take a picture with just me, husband, and bio kids for my parents and a couple other relatives, then have her be in the picture for Jack’s family and our friends.

Illustration photo (Source:

But when I called picture time and told Enephrine she wasn’t going to be in this picture but the next one, she started to look upset. I did let her take our picture which lifted her spirits, and we got some lovely pictures with her too. We also got some ice cream and she hasn’t been upset beyond that initial moment.

The trouble came later when Jack asked why I didn’t want Enephrine in the photo. He said he thought it was maybe so I could get one with all my kids. I didn’t want to lie to him so I told him why, because I don’t want Enephrine to be exposed to people who could potentially emotionally hurt her. Just like that he went from being understanding to pissed. And I guess he said, “she didn’t want you in her picture because you’re black” or something like that to his daughter, and now she’s upset with me too.

I really wasn’t trying to hurt her in any way, I did this out of care and love. But I think I could have done it in a wrong way. Aita, reddit?”


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