“it’s not a family heirloom”

He demands that his mother give the engagement ring to her daughter-in-law, but she refuses: “it’s not a family heirloom”

image: Pexels / Not the actual photo

One woman told on Reddit hownot wanting to pass down my enggement ring to her future DIL?

My son, Sam, (26) and his longtime girlfriend, now fiancee, Emily, (26) finally decided to get married. They had announced their engagement privately to my husband and me, and after the initial excitement, they said they had something important to talk to me about.

Sam wanted my engagement ring to give to Emily. Sam said this would be a great way to keep him from starting his marriage in debt from having to buy a new expensive diamond ring. Emily also added that she has liked the look of my ring a lot and would love for me to pass it down to her.

I love my engagement ring. I have worn it everyday since my husband proposed to me with it and to be honest, I still have plenty of years to live that I want to keep wearing it until I am old and grey. Also, my ring is not a family heirloom. My husband chose and bought this ring for me many years ago. So, I told them that I appreciated them wanting my ring, but no, I wanted to keep it. I listed out the reasons above and how I don’t want to part with my ring yet for the rest of my still-long life. However, when I am old, I would be more than happy to give it to their future children.

Well, Sam and Emily weren’t happy with my answer and Sam actually called me selfish and materialistic. He said that diamonds are a scam and asked how I could let him go into debt to buy a new ring. Emily was disappointed and said that she had hoped that my ring could become a family heirloom and it would be a token of accepting her into our family (I have always liked Emily and we got along great). They also said that I could keep my wedding band so it wasn’t like they were leaving me without any rings to wear.


Edit: Thanks to everyone who commented. I liked reading about your own engagement rings and diamond alternatives. My husband did defend me and had told our son to leave and walk it off when he started arguing with me. He said he is on my side and would have respected my decision with the ring, but he admitted that he was happy that I still love my ring so much after all these years!

As soon as the story was shared, thousands of comments voiced their opinions, as well as complained about the her son and her daughter in law.

The top comment stated, “Bad enough that Emily was there too, but Emily actually piping up to express her own disappointment?!?! This is gobsmacking. What’s next, they ask to be gifted OP’s house so they don’t “start their marriage in debt”? While we’re at it, go ahead and throw in all your savings, you two are OLD and your life is basically over anyway! If I was OP I’d be seriously questioning where me and my husband went wrong in raising this self absorbed AH and how he could possibly have turned out this way. NTA time for them to grow up.”

Another comment added, ” That shit floored me too. So not the way to start off your relationship with your MIL. Also, if they’re so concerned about “materialism” and the cost of a diamond then they could always get a cheaper stone. Hell, pawn shops are full of other people’s heirlooms and diamond rings for a bargain if OP is insistent on an actual diamond while still being a cheap AH.”

Another comment added, “I think they do want an actual diamond they just don’t want to pay for one themselves. What total AHs – both of them. This is a totally unreasonable and selfish (really outlandishly RUDE) request. I can’t even believe they were actually in agreement in asking you. They are both nuts. I would suggest moissanite but it sounds like they actually do want a diamond even though they call it a “scam” whatever. And hell no they cannot have yours. What a couple of jerks.”

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