How To Deal With A Lying Spouse: 10 No Nonsense Tips!
9 common signs that your spouse is lying to you
1. They respond with questions.
A person who doesn’t want to give you an answer will ask a question. It’s a great way to distract you while stalling long enough to think of a way to cover up your l.i.e.s.
2. They give vague answers.
“Where were you?” “I was out.”
“Who were you out with?” “Just with some friends.”
This is an example of vague answers. When someone offers you very few or no details, they probably don’t want you to know everything.
3. They use word fillers and unnecessary specifications.
Word fillers like “I mean” and “you know”, or even sounds, like “huh” and “umm”, are often used to buy time when you are making up a l.i.e.
When they use them more often than usual, they may be trying to l.i.e to you.
4. Take time before responding.
When we l.i.e, the words don’t flow as smoothly, and we have to work hard to make them up and connect them. We need more time to answer, especially when the question comes out of nowhere.
5. They stall the conversation.
Your spouse can stall the conversation in many ways, any one of which may indicate that they are lying to you, especially if what you are asking them is not difficult to answer.
6. Your speech pattern changes.
It is not easy to l.i.e. Your spouse will probably use a higher pitch, make grammatical errors, stutter, or speak too fast. The pitch of your voice may also change due to nervousness and anxiety.
14 Things to do when your spouse is lying to you
1. Don’t blame yourself.
It is not your fault that your spouse l.i.e.s to you, and this is true regardless of the type of l.i.e and the reason for it.
2. Find out when they are lying, why they are lying.
What are the situations that cause your spouse to l.i.e to you? What questions get dishonest answers, and what is the topic of conversation when your spouse l.i.e.s?
After reading the above signs, you should have a good idea about when your spouse is lying to you, but what is their motive?
Try to see what their l.i.e.s have in common, and what subjects they l.i.e about most often.
3. Trust your instincts.
You should not jump to conclusions, but you should definitely trust your instincts.
You know your spouse very well, and if you are sensing that they are hiding something, you are probably subconsciously picking up the cues.
You are noticing the difference, even if you are not aware of it.
4. Challenge their l.i.e.s.
If you already suspect that your spouse is lying to you, don’t just take their word for it. Challenge their l.i.e.s instead.
You can ask them questions, require them to make eye contact, or ask them to tell you the story backwards.
5. Think about how you would react if they told you the truth.
Liars often try to justify their l.i.e.s by saying what your reaction to the truth would be.
So take a moment to think about what your reaction to the truth would be in the scenario.
6. Have an honest conversation with your spouse.
Instead of confronting them and making them feel attacked, you could try having an honest conversation with your spouse.
Make them open up to you and tell you why they are lying.
7. Tell them what they can and cannot do and be ready to let them do more.
Your problem may not be as big as it seems. For example, maybe you don’t like your spouse’s friend, and your spouse was lying to you to keep spending time with the friend.
8. Consider changing your behavior.
It’s not your fault that your partner is dishonest with you, but maybe you did something to encourage the l.i.e.s.
For example, maybe you start a fight whenever they go out with your friends because you don’t like their friends. As such, they have decided that it is better to l.i.e to you about where they are so that you can continue to spend time with your friends.
People would much rather l.i.e about the things they are doing than stop doing the things they enjoy.
9. Consider whether you should forgive them.
Should you stay with your spouse if they have l.i.e.d to you? There is no right or wrong answer to this.
Sometimes there is no reason to keep staying, but it all depends on the specifics of your situation and your feelings for your partner. Most of all, it depends on whether or not you can forgive them
10. Know when it is time to forgive or move on.
Forgiving your spouse is not easy when they have betrayed your trust in a major way, like having an affair. If you can’t forgive them, it will make things worse in your marriage.