DO NOT GET MARRIED Unless You Ask Your Partner These 12 Questions!
Some good relationship advice before considering marriage is to take the time to ask questions that plumb the inner depths of your partner’s personality and psychology. Here are eleven questions you can ask to his or her suitability for a marriage partner:
1. Why do you love me?
This is a questions that lovers have asked each other from the beginning of time, but it does provide real information about their psychological and social needs in a mate. If the focus seems to be on what you have or what you can provide materially in the marriage, you might need to look elsewhere for an authentic commitment.
2. What are you goals and are you willing to adjust them for the relationship?
This question can reveal what priority the relationship has in the overall life plan. If the individual is more to achieve life goals and expects you to do all the adjusting, it could be an unfavorable sign.
3. Why do you want to spend your life’s journey with me?
This answer can tell you about the expectations of your partner and whether relationship therapy might be needed to create healthier expectations about your role in the marriage.
4. What are our current frustrations with each other and can we fix them? Why have these not been communicated prior to now?
Why wait for an argument? Ask our partner what they dislike about your behavior now and find a way to help make them feel like you are respecting their preferences. Make sure that you are both willing to give, receive, and apply feedback from each other.
5 . What’s your relationship with your family?
A bad relationship with family can indicate issues that could affect the marriage. Similarly, someone is too close to his or her family may be so enmeshed that the marriage may not come first. Relationship counseling can help to resolve these issues.
6. Do we feel able to completely trust in each other’s commitment to marriage?
Trust is the secret to a secure, loving, and deeply committed marriage. Trust is earned based on words and actions. Ask yourselves this question and then ask your partner if they have any reservations about trust.
7. Can’t you work through the rough patches.
Someone who dislikes conflict or who cannot work out differences will make a poor marriage partner.
8 . What are your parenting skills?
If you intend to have children, the previous family experiences of your partner can have a significant effect on his or her ability to parent.
9. Can you commit to grow with me instead of away from me?
This answer can tell you whether the person understands the nature of close relationships and the constant maintenance they require.
10. What are we both working on changing about ourselves in order to be better people?
What don’t you like about yourself and want to improve on?
11. How will we handle a major medical crisis for ourselves or family members?
Do we plan to take care of family members in our homes as they age or do we need to have a financial plan to keep them in assisted living?
12. If My Life Is Cut Short, Will You Honor My Memory Forever?
An individual that will continue to hold that relationship in memory as a valuable experience, rather than close the book on it, is likely to make the most of the time you have together.