Marriage is a much larger responsibility than many people realize. Once you are past the attention from the engagement, wedding, and honeymoon, there is a real life to be lived! In this life, you’re responsible for the feelings of another person, and that can be a huge weight. You may take your role as a wife very seriously, but you may be harming your partner in the process. Here are 11 ways you are actually hurting your husband and damaging your marriage.
1. Nagging him about his salary
Complaining about his salary every now and then, or constantly nagging him about how his salary is insufficient to fulfil your desires, is not good for your marriage. Your husband is doing his best to make the ends meet, so at least you can motivate him and be thankful to him.
2. Spending Recklessly
Every family has a budget and spending on things that aren’t necessary can be really hurtful to your husband. Be wise about your finances and find a way to live within the boundaries of what your husband can realistically afford. This shows sincere respect and appreciation. This does not mean you can’t occasionally splurge on something you really want, it just means you need to have a meaningful conversation beforehand to make sure the two of you are on the same page.
3. Making fun of him in front of others
Making some bad jokes about him or putting him down in front of your friends and family members is not at all cool. It is in fact, humiliating and might harm your relationship in the long run.
4. Withholding Affection
Men need physical affection from their wives. Physical affection is one way to show appreciation for your husband. It is natural to want to withhold affection when angry or upset, but try instead to have a discussion with your husband about any issues instead of avoiding the physical piece of your relationship. It is a beautiful thing to be wanted and loved by your husband, so take advantage of the moments you can show your love through physical touch.
5. Discussing his personal matters in front of others without his consent
Your husband trusts you, and that is why he shares his private matters with you. But, by sharing his personal matters in front of others without his approval is nothing short of betrayal.
6. Not appreciating his efforts or acknowledging his work
Everyone loves to be appreciated for their work, no matter how small or big it is. Even you love it when your husband praises you for your efforts and you feel bad when he does not. Isn’t it? So, praise him whenever you get an opportunity.
7. Keeping Record of Past Wrongs
It is human to stockpile past mistakes. It can be difficult to sweep past the ways your husband has hurt or betrayed you in the past, but forgiveness is a major part of a healthy marriage. You can’t continually taunt your husband about the past if you expect to be able to move forward. Next time you find yourself in an argument with your husband, don’t reach for a jab about the last time he didn’t come home on time. Instead, focus on the issue and work to resolve it without bringing up the past.
8. Blaming him for every small or big issue in your life
Every marriage has problems, but blaming your husband for every problem of your life is not correct. Remember, he is also facing that problem with you. So, instead of playing the blame game, try to solve the issue together.
9. Complaining about everything
Be it about house maintenance, family problem, office work or anything else, hearing constant complaints is draining. Believe us, it spreads negativity in the house and creates tension in the relationship.
10. Keeping secrets from your husband
Disloyalty is one thing that hurts everyone in a relationship. Lies and secrets create a distance between you and your husband. It even ruins the trust factor in the relationship. So, instead of hiding things from your husband and being disloyal, try to talk to him about the matter. He will surely listen to you and help you in every way possible.
11. Never Saying Thank You
Verbal affirmation is extremely important in any relationship. Many people underestimate the value of a sincere “thank you”. Your man needs to hear “thank you” as much as anyone else. Gratitude is a form of affection and men like to hear when they are meeting your needs. According to psychology today expressing gratitude brings people closer together and practicing this in your marriage can have a really positive impact. Try expressing gratitude towards your partner at least three times a day for 21 days. You will find it becomes a habit and will transform how you feel about your partner.
These are just a few of the ways you may unknowingly be harming your partner and your marriage. If you find yourself guilty of any of these hurtful scenarios take a step in the opposite direction. Self-awareness is the first step towards altering current behavior. If you recognize these patterns and consciously try to adjust your behavior, you are on your way to establishing a healthy and happy environment for you, your husband, and your family.